After returning from vacation to a very empty refrigerator, I decided to take the opportunity to clean and reorganize it, before refilling it. I’ve never liked our refrigerator; it was bought in an emergency situation and has always seemed poorly designed to me. One of the biggest issues I’ve had with it is that the top shelf was so high you couldn’t put much on it, and you had to crouch down to see what was there. I know what you’re thinking, aren’t refrigerator shelves movable? Yes, yes, they are – I had just never taken the time and energy to do something about it with this fridge. After a half hour of cleaning and reorganizing, I couldn’t believe how much more useful the space was – it reminded me of a saying a mentor often says to me, life is too short for fine, go for fabulous!
This got me thinking where else is it easy – or at least doable – to move from fine to fabulous. At work, it might look like:
- Asking team members to move a standing 8:30am meeting to 9:00am so you aren’t racing from school drop-offs.
- Rearranging your schedule to better align your energy with the tasks you need to do every day.
- Asking a colleague to join you in brainstorming.
- Turning off your email or phone for certain periods of time throughout the workday or turning notifications on or off your devices.
- Raising your desk chair or moving to a standing desk.
Outside of work, it could be:
- Setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier to have some fabulous before the morning routine begins.
- Moving the furniture around in your living room to make it more…livable.
- Lighting a candle at dinner.
- Buying the good soap!
- Donating unopened food to a local food pantry to make space for what you really want in your pantry.
Here’s the thing, it’s less important how you shift from fine to fabulous and more important why you make the shift. While these may seem like small and “unimportant” changes, what they really say is that you value your time, your energy, yourself. When we don’t make these changes, when we go with the flow, knowing that it isn’t serving us as well as something else could, we are not valuing our own needs. When we leave things at “fine”, we are placing value in the external. For example, when you don’t ask your team to shift the time of a regular meeting, you are placing their perceived needs over your own.
It can be hard and might feel selfish to value yourself. We moved into our current home at the very beginning of the Covid-19 lockdown. Stores weren’t open and tensions were high. In our new home, I have a whole room to myself for an office whereas I used our dining room – and dining room furniture – at our old house. My husband lovingly made me a standing desk when we moved and I still use it, it’s fantastic. But a stool to sit on, when I need a break from standing, was harder to come by and I defaulted to an old hand-me-down that was in bad shape when we received it. Three years later, it hasn’t gotten any better and I realized it might be giving me back pain. I had bought plenty of things for other parts of the house and other people but hadn’t gotten myself a new chair. It felt selfish to buy something that was just for me. What was the message I was sending myself – that my comfort didn’t matter? An impromptu trip to Ikea and $150 later, I feel like I had a throne, but I also feel like I am valuing my comfort, my space, and myself.
As women, we are often people pleasers and default to honoring the needs of others – our significant others, our kids, our friends, our coworkers, and supervisors. Where do we fit into all of this and when are we important enough to be the focus? Speaking from experience, when I honor myself and my values, I show up better in my world as a better partner, parent, friend, and coach. But it takes time and patience to understand what your needs are. You have to stop and listen to yourself and quiet the external noises. It’s no easy task, but what’s possible when you do it?
Inquiry: What’s one shift you can make this year to take 2024 from fine to fabulous?
