2024 Summer Playlist: Unplug & Elevate
Unplug & Elevate: Notes of Empowerment Summer Playlist is a collaborative mixtape of music and thoughts sourced by three colleagues who work in the areas of wellness, burnout, and purpose, but more importantly, who are friends. We know that having the right playlist for a road trip (or whatever journey one is on) makes ALL the difference. This summer, we handpicked songs from our lives that helped us to rebalance, recoup our own stories, and root into our purpose. LISTEN HERE!
When we first discussed this playlist series, The Talking Heads’ song Once in a Lifetime instantly popped into my head. I often use this song as an example of my “ideal” client. People will ask, who are your clients? And I’ll answer, you know that Talking Heads song Once in a Lifetime? That’s my ideal client, people who wake up to the notion that this is not their beautiful life (or career), and they don’t want to let the days go by. To me, this song is the perfect example of hearing something a million times and then realizing the intense meaning to your own life.
Don’t get me wrong, I never woke up and asked “where is my beautiful wife” (or husband) or said “this is not my beautiful house” (because I really like our home), but I think we come to an age when we start to look more inward to what’s important to us and how we are, or, more importantly, are not, living in alignment with what’s important to us – our values, if you will. I had that realization in my early 40s. I’d been working since I was 15, not really on any particular career path, and that path had meandered in all sorts of amazing and unique ways. After becoming a mom, and reprioritizing the role work played in my life, I noticed that my career had meandered to a much less fulfilling area. I can pinpoint the moves that led to this less fulfilling area, I do technically know how I got to this place, but I can’t remember the motives and rationale for all of the moves. I sort of went where “it made sense” but not necessarily where I wanted to be. I fell into opportunities that seemed safe, secure, and sensible, but not exciting, interesting, or engaging. After several years of this less fulfilling, unengaged space, I started to wonder, how did I get here? And, more importantly, why was I staying here?
I like to think of life in “seasons”. Throughout my life, I can think of the “Coming into My Own Season” when I moved out of my parents and into college and really started to get a sense of who I am. From there I moved into the “Rosie the Riveter Season” when I worked for Habitat for Humanity and learned how to build houses plus relationships and leadership skills. And one of my favorites, the “Playing House” Season, when my husband and I were first married, lived in student housing, were broke and yet the world was our oyster.
When my son was younger, I needed to be in the “secure” season. I needed to work for the income and for my sanity, and I needed to know my work was making a positive impact on the world, but, other than that, I needed to know my work was secure. And that’s fair, we all have secure seasons when the priority might not be fulfillment. As my son got older, and security started to come in other ways, my season changed – but I wasn’t ready for it. Not understanding where I was (season of security) meant I didn’t know where to go. And suddenly, I was in the “How Did I Get Here Season”. By understanding my old need for security and naming that season of life, I allowed myself the grace for working in ways that didn’t fill me up but met the need of that season. I’m grateful for the work I did during that time, it allowed me to feel secure and steady at a time when that was most important.
I’m still thinking of a name for my current season. Some that have come to mind are the Sunshine Season, The Badass Season, The Go Get ‘Em Season, the Good Enough / Mediocre Marigold Season, and the I’ve Got This Season. All of which are way more fun sounding than the Security Season. But what I have learned already in this season is that I don’t want to walk through my career unconscious anymore. I don’t want to wake up in another 10 years and look around and ask myself, how did I get here? I want to take more ownership of my goals and my path. I want to be open and meander, but I want the meandering to be in service of my values. I don’t want to let the days go by, I want to be present and be an active player in my life.
Sometimes I hear myself say things like this and I think, “what the heck does that even mean?”. And it’s a fair question – how are you not an active player in your own life. In ten years, when I look back on this decade, I want to say that I made things happen, that I took chances and tried new things, that I was present for my son throughout his teen years and my husband through a career change. That I noticed small things, that I really listened when friends spoke, that I felt deeply as our world changed, and that I knew myself and was proud of the decisions I had made. That I was in the driver’s seat, and I chose when to meander and in what direction to meander.
When I look back to this time, I want to be the antithesis of this song. I want to say that I remember the days, with their joys, sorrows, triumphs, and challenges, and that I know exactly how I got here.
What does your beautiful life look like?
Featured Response by Eileen Murphy from Blackbird Life Coaching
Midway through 2020, I began to realize how much I use work as a means to distract myself from life. I thought it was a badge of honor to work over 50-hours in a week until everything really did come to this screeching halt, and this little voice raised up and asked, “do you want to be doing this until retirement?” Without pause or hesitation, my entire being said NO. No, this is not my beautiful life.
So, over the next few years, I decided to blow up the structures that were holding my life back and found with determination the beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and experiences I want in my life, and recently, I started to review my inspired action board weekly to remind myself, I have to be what I want to become.
It’s not an overnight process, I am not going to wake up after contemplation and be this new person, in a beautiful life. I have to actively cultivate new skills and behaviors, I have to dim the switch on my inner critic so I can amplify curiosity, acceptance, vulnerability, and thoughtfulness. Like a snail slipping out of its shell to find a bigger one that matches its growth and potential, I can craft a life that is brilliantly bold.
Featured Response by Megan Hutchinson-Krings from Mindful Heart Counseling
I love this song. I hear the lyric “this is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife” as spoken with sarcasm, surprise, and joy. It feels more like an upside-down affirmation. Which I think is maybe a safe way to find an affirmation that doesn’t feel like it’s coming from Stuart Smalley, that Al Frankin character from SNL who says “I’m smart enough, I’m good enough and doggone it, people like me.”
That’s part of why music is so important to me. I’m not a musician, I’m not a singer, but I love music deeply. When a song resounds it’s as if I’ve been given a new affirmation. “I love my beautiful home, I love my beautiful spouse.” Just a positive redirection my mind might need when it gets a little dark and twisty up there. It’s a little like opening the curtains in my mind and letting some light in.
Sometimes I get STUCK in a mood or an endless loop of the same thoughts again, and I have to use music as a fulcrum to get me out of my funk. If I’ve been listening to Adele, break up songs, or angry songs, I tend to carry some of that with me. A lot of times my inner soundtrack doesn’t match with how I want to feel. If my internal soundtrack doesn’t fit how I WANT to feel, then I need to consider hitting the shuffle button. It works about 80% of the time for me, a good song can elevate me out of a funk – or help me find a different kind of funk. That’s partially why I’m so excited about this playlist we made. These are songs that have meaning to us, but we also think they have something that can lift your mood. They make us want to dance, or smile, or laugh. I hope you enjoy it as much as we do!
What’s a song that has an affirmation in it for you, or has a tune that helps change your mood?
Megan Hutchinson Krings, LCSW CADC is a licensed clinical social worker and a certified alcohol and drug counselor. She often works with folks when their neglected hunches about life manifest into addiction, depression, anxiety, burnout, or deep grief for the life they want but can’t have. Megan is the founder of Mindful Heart Counseling.
Eileen Murphy, MA in Industrial & Organizational Psychology, is your go-to certified Stress Management and Health & Wellness coach. She’s on a mission to help you disrupt your stress and find joy, aligning your career, health, and wellness like a life-balancing pro. Eileen is the founder of Blackbird Life Coaching.
Charlotte Kovacs, ACC, CPCC, empowers mid-career women who are at a crossroads, wondering what they want to be when they grow up. She provides one-on-one and small group programs designed to help them set bold goals, enabling them to fulfill their purpose both professionally and personally. Charlotte is the founder of Charlotte Kovacs Coaching.
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