People often ask if I am a Career Coach or a Life Coach and the answer is simultaneously yes and no. Unfortunately, the term ‘life coach’ has really been co-opted and become a punch line, and ‘career coach’ – to me – sounds like someone who relishes in getting the verbiage of a resume just right. Neither are me, and yet, I enjoy working with clients on both their life and their career. Because, at the end of the day, it’s all life. If you are happy and fulfilled in all areas of life, that includes your career. But if you are miserable or underwhelmed in your career, that is most definitely impacting your ‘life’. If you are drawing a clear line between the two, you might want to ask yourself what’s important about that line, and what would happen if you removed it. And, for those curious, I call myself a Development Coach – I support people developing into their true self.
This summer I crossed something off of my professional bucket list by becoming a certified Designing Your Life coach. This program is taught by the authors of the book, Designing Your Life, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. I came to this book several years ago when I was feeling professionally lost and underwhelmed and I was immediately drawn into the practical AND creative process and exercises it thoughtfully laid out. I was also interested in how it perfectly intertwined life and work – where you are drawing energy from, where you are expelling more energy than you’d like, and where you are finding flow. Without using the term work-life balance, this book and coaching methodology acknowledges the need for balance and the awareness that balance looks different at different times of life.
It’s often said that there are seasons to life. Some seasons are cultural or life stage related – we go through seasons of college graduations, then first jobs, then maybe getting married or having kids. If we are following a different path, we are surely seeing these patterns in groups around us. Some seasons are personal – seasons of grief, seasons of trauma, seasons of adventure. I’ve spoken before about my season of safety when a secure job was more important than an interesting job. I love asking clients what season they are in. So often, we are just on autopilot and haven’t stopped to think about where we are on this journey of life.
When I first got into coaching, I would sum up my ideal client as someone who embodied the Talking Heads song, Once In a Lifetime, specifically the line, “Well…how did I get here?”. I resonated with this song because that’s the place where I was coming from – the “how did I get here” place of my career that oozed like malaise and inaction. Amazingly, even though I was in my early 40s, I felt as if there wasn’t time for me to make changes towards happiness and a more purposeful career. 40 something people, I was 40 something. I now lovingly refer to this as the WTF season of life, and I see it in people of all ages, genders, careers. There comes a season in many people’s lives, where they ask themself, WTF…how did I get here? To further paraphrase from Once In a Lifetime, they may be saying to themselves; this is not my beautiful [insert whatever part of life has you feeling underwhelmed and unfulfilled.]
It’s one thing to look at your life (career included) and see a gap from where you are and where you want and to see a clear path to get from A to B. It’s a whole other thing to see a gap from where you are…and have no idea where you want to be – do I want to go from A to B, A to J, A to 32?! How do you even begin this type of exploration? As you might have guessed, this is what I love about Designing Your Life, the exploration – we don’t start with an end point in mind, we start with curiosity and self-compassion. It takes courage, strength, and a huge amount of vulnerability and self-awareness to say, I’m not happy with some aspect of my life, but I have no idea how to change it. It’s easier to stay stagnant, to let life happen to you and around you, to wait for an opportunity to present itself. The real growth begins the minute you say, I want something more. And more can mean a million things – more can mean more respect in your career, it can mean more organization and time management across the board, it can mean more adventure and play time in and outside of your career. Just knowing you want something is the first step.
How do you begin this exploration? Here are a few of my favorite Designing Your Life exercises to help you think about where you are now, and where you want to be headed. Most of the exercises below have set worksheets but the ideas are simple and can be done without the worksheets.
- Mindmapping: This is such an easy way to get things out of your head and onto paper. Set a timer for 3 minutes and start with a “neutral” word in the center (it could be career or creativity or whatever). Write the first few ideas that come to mind when you think of this neutral word, then go back and write the first few things that come to mind about those “sub categories”, then do one more round. What stands out to you, what patterns or connections do you see, what surprises you?
- Good Time Journal: Collect data over a few weeks – when are you engaged, what brings you energy or drains your energy, where do you find flow?
- Dashboard: Similar to a Wheel of Life, how would you rate however you define love, work, play, and health? Keep in mind that balance might not look like aces all around, balance might look like an awareness and contentment.
Reality factors can be hard, but believing in yourself can be just as difficult. If you have ever heard that far off whisper say, ‘what if I…’, I encourage you to explore it at any level you can.
Journal Prompts:
- What ideas have come from Mindmapping and collecting data?
- In what area of life (love, work, play health) would you like to grow most in over the next 6 months?
- What would you name the season you are currently in, what season do you want to be in next?
