I was on vacation last week with my husband, my son, my brother, and his awesome kids. We spent a few days in Ocean City, MD before heading to Washington, DC. Those first few days were full of LOTS of sun, big waves, and seafood – it was glorious. And while I really enjoyed the downtime and the fun in the sun, it was the new adventures that I’ll keep thinking about.
My oldest niece is the daredevil of the family. The rest of us are chickens when it comes to adventurous activities, and we’re just fine with it. But my niece wanted to go para sailing, and she wanted someone to go with her. After trying to talk my son into joining her, I finally volunteered myself. Part of me was shocked – I’m not a huge fan of heights, and I don’t like to go fast, at all. But I had gone para sailing on a family vacation when I was a kid, and I remembered loving it. I couldn’t have told you how high in the sky I was, or how fast it felt, I just remembered it being completely peaceful and beautiful. So, I said yes to my niece.
As we booked the reservation, I started to hesitate internally, and when we got to the dock, I honestly couldn’t believe what I’d gotten myself into. There is something to be said for putting on a brave face for others. I didn’t want my niece to know I was nervous, so I put on a smile, we made goofy faces at my brother on the dock, and off we went. As the boat revved up, my stomach dropped – I really hate going fast and I’ve never liked speed boats. Thankfully, we were the first two to go up. As they harnessed us in, they joked about not harnessing me incorrectly (all part of the ploy to make people laugh and feel more comfortable) and away we went.
There have been few things I have seen that are as beautiful as the Atlantic from 400 feet in the air. It was breathtaking, it was peaceful, it was fun to be up there with my niece, it was…all the things. And, in the back of my head, I kept thinking, you knew you could do this, you’ve done it before. Later in the week, the whole family went down to the amusement park on the boardwalk and did the Ferris wheel together. Again, as we got closer in line, and with my son and youngest nephew not convinced this was a good idea, I started to doubt the plan. Then, again, in the back of my head, I heard, you know you can do this, you’ve done it before.
Why did I stop doing these semi adventurous activities? I really couldn’t say. I don’t like heights and I don’t like to go fast and feel out of control, those things haven’t changed, but what have I said no to because I assumed I wasn’t going to like them? When did I stop saying “I’ll try it” and start saying “hell, no”? Was it when I became a mom and felt I needed to do safter things? Was it after I tried something new, and it didn’t go well? Was it during Covid when we all needed to feel as safe as possible? I spent the rest of vacation pondering on those questions – What had I been saying no to, for how long, and what have I missed out on because of it?
The one thing I keep coming back to when I think of para sailing and the Ferris wheel is that I had done them before so I could reason with myself that I could do them again. What happens when it’s something I’ve never done before and can’t give myself that reassurance?
Over the past few years, I’ve been trying to try new things. Some have been easy to say yes to; I joined a new yoga studio – that was an easy “yes”. I’ve made several career changes over the past few years, many of which were terrifying in the moment but now I can’t imagine any other way. And now this whole sharing my thoughts with strangers thing – terrifying or cathartic? At the moment, both.
Sometimes we need our comfort zone, the world is throwing a lot at us, and we need to cling to the familiar and safe. But when the coast is clear, and we can move out of our comfort zone, what happens if we don’t? When do we use our comfort zone to hold us back? We might not even realize it, because comfort is…comforting – there is something lovely about knowing what to expect in your day, in your work, in your family. But what might we be missing by not sometimes stepping out of the zone?
When we try new things, we grow as a person. They can be small things (cheddar and jelly sandwiches, anyone?) or bigger things (applying for a new job, just because) but the important thing is that we try – we grow, we expand, we get out of our rut. While thinking on this idea of trying new things, I saw this quote: “If you do not create change, change will create you.” ~Unknown. By choosing to try new things, we put ourselves in the driver’s seat of our lives. And sometimes we fail, but we tried, and we can choose to try again.
What is something completely new to you that you’ve been thinking about trying? What’s something you’ve done before that might be worth trying again? What’s a new adventure you can plan or do this week?
Inquiry: What do you say no to, without even thinking about it? How is this serving you?
