LIFTING UP & LETTING GO
As discussed in the first Building Leadership Skills post, directly out of college I served as an AmeriCorps volunteer with the West Tallahatchie Habitat for Humanity Chapter in Tutwiler, MS. There is so much that I learned in those three years. I became braver than before (roofing a house takes nerves), I connected with people from all different backgrounds, I increased my confidence in public speaking (regularly speaking to church congregations and local organizations), and I learned the basics of non-profit management. I learned more about who I was and what I stood for in this world and I learned how to lift up and empower others in a whole new way.
In addition to boosting morale and cheering on my volunteers under the blistering Mississippi Delta sun, I coined one of my favorite phrases, “Make it happen!”. On any given day, from spring break through the fall, you could find me on the work site with a red bandana holding back my hair and wearing either my Rosie the Riveter shirt or a volunteer group shirt, telling my volunteers “Make it happen!”. This was used every time volunteers stumbled upon a problem and created their own solution – “we ran out of X, but we think we can use Y instead” – “Make it happen!” – “we don’t have time to do this whole room, but we can do the upper halves of two rooms to make it easier for the next crew.” – “Make it happen!”.
This might sound a lot like my cheerleader mode, and in many ways, it is. After listening and giving any feedback requested, “Make it happen” was my way of saying “thank you for caring and for your energy, I trust that you’ve thought this through, and I support your efforts 100%”. It was a way to cheer on my volunteers and thank them for their hard work, but it was also about letting go. I’m a pretty Type A person. I like things organized and I like to be efficient and when there is a lack of organization and efficiency, I don’t mind being the leader that brings those elements to a project. There was very little that was organized or efficient about the West Tallahatchie Habitat for Humanity work sites – no matter how hard I tried; it was just the nature of the beast.
That’s why “Make it happen!” was such an important lesson for me. Did it always work out perfectly? No! But when the volunteers felt trusted, they became more invested, and they would work just as hard to regroup and fix the issue, when needed. I could have gone in with a “my way or the highway” approach, and it might have ultimately been more organized and more efficient, but no one would have felt engaged or empowered. Who wants to be part of that? When we feel that we are being trusted, we feel safe, we explore, we try new things, we open up. We are better, less protected versions of ourselves.
By letting go, I learned new and interesting techniques. I witnessed breakthroughs that would have been stagnant otherwise. I grew as a person, by letting others grow in their skills. Strangely, by letting go, I felt more in control of the work site. People were more open with me about their processes and in that collaborative space, I had a better understanding of the overall situation. And, of course, by letting go, I felt lighter, and I was better able to tackle the situations that really required my attention.
Another benefit of letting the volunteers make their own educated and thought-out decisions was more creativity on the site – something extremely helpful when you have limited resources. There was also more learning and more ownership. I loved watching a new volunteer come up with a whole new way of hanging drywall around outlets and light switches. There are many ways to do it, and I could have shared any number of those ways, but by giving the volunteers space, they learned new skills, grew as a team and, usually, sharpened some math skills along the way. And while hanging a door is a heinous chore, knowing that you’ve been empowered to play and explore while hanging the door, you have more pride in your work than something you did as instructed, but didn’t understand.
This isn’t a completely hands off approach, it’s not about sink or swim, it’s about letting your team know they are trusted and believed in. As a coach, I trust my clients to know what they need, what feels right to them, what they want out of their future. Just like building a house, not every idea works perfectly the first time. As a coach, I hold a safe, non-judgmental space for the client to think deeply about how they want to proceed. What is possible when we trust ourselves? What can we do when we let go of perfection and hold on to creativity? Who do we become when we aren’t afraid to try new things – and how do we let go when they don’t work as planned? What is your rally cry?
Inquiry – What’s an area of your life where you can “let go”?
Learn more about the amazing work being done by the folks at West Tallahatchie Habitat for Humanity at the Tutwiler Community Education Center’s website.
