As someone who is big into goals, it probably comes as no surprise that I am also big into checking on those goals at specific times throughout their lifecycle – and mine. And while I’m not a big birthday person, having a birthday just a few months before the new year gives me the perfect opportunity to do a deep dive into where I am in this world. As I prepare for the next year of my life, and soon the next calendar year, I wanted to take some time to look back at the year I’ve had, what I’ve learned, and where I’m going.
The past 12 months have been full of surprises. There have been a lot of transitions for me, my husband, and our son (hello, high school!). In life, change is inevitable. Some changes come barreling at you and take immediate effect. Some changes require lots of planning and have a roadmap in place to help you navigate from Point A to Point B. All changes are stressful, but long ago I learned that it’s not change that stresses me out, it’s the “in-between” times of change – when you know a change is coming, but it’s not here yet, and there’s only so much planning that can be done for it. And this last year was pretty much nonstop “in-between time”.
As previously mentioned, letting go isn’t always my strong suit and, especially when it comes to my path forward, I like to feel in control of my changes. But that’s just not how the world works, changes come at you regardless. What I learned this year, in a new and empowering way, is that while you don’t always get to choose the transitions, you do get to be in control of how you handle them. I didn’t handle them all with perfect poise this year, but I learned a lot about myself in how I handled them and, ultimately, a lot about the person I want to be as I continue to grow.
Mindfulness: This year, I spent a lot of time turning inward. This started as an attempt to quell the physical feelings of anxiety, but it became so much more. By slowing down, I was able to focus more and see the trees, not just the forest. When my mind wasn’t in constant go-mode, I could put plans into place. In those quiet times of reflection, I was able to listen to my heart, my mind and my gut, voices that otherwise would have been drowned out. I was calmer, I had more energy because my energy wasn’t being used to stress out (at least not all the time). And, my favorite benefit, I became more present with those around me. I stopped “doing” all the time and started listening, observing, and learning. Simply put, slowing down helped me do more this year.
Learning: I found new enthusiasm for learning, something with which I have always struggled (more to come in a future post). While I’ve always heard the old saying, there is power in knowledge, knowledge never seemed easily accessible to me. By getting creative with how I attain that knowledge (videos, talking with colleagues, LISTENING more, and taking it slow), I have found that power of knowledge. I’ve also learned that learning isn’t always fun, and that’s ok, as long as I keep my eye on the prize – the benefits I gain from learning. This year, learning has allowed me to be more creative – as I learn things, I want to try them out in new and creative ways that work for me. I found that gaining more knowledge made me feel more in control, it gave me more options, new energy, the permission to try new things, and it helped me feel like I had a seat at the table. I found my voice in gaining knowledge and I was less afraid to ask questions.
Trying new things: I know I’ve already written about this [LINK], but trying new things has been the theme of the year in our household. And while some of those things were big and fun like parasailing, many were small and hardly noticed by others. One, very small, example; I started using pencils instead of pens as part of embracing my mistakes and welcoming change. It was a small shift, but it was part of a much larger mind shift. I’ve changed my schedule and my calendar 18,000 different ways over the past 12 months, all in the pursuit of trying new ways of doing things. Maybe the biggest takeaway from the last year is that changing little things can have just as big an impact – possibly more – than changing one big thing. I also learned that many changes can be undone and it’s important to try things on with the understanding that you don’t have to keep them all. If something doesn’t feel right, try it a different way. Find the way that’s right for you – the important part is that you try – and keep trying. The trying can be the most productive part.
Productivity doesn’t always look productive: This last point is a combination of all the other learnings. I love to be productive. Give me to-do list and an uninterrupted hour and watch me go! For so long I felt that sitting still or day dreaming was unproductive when it turns out, nothing could be further from the truth. When we listen, when we breathe, when we stop, we are giving ourselves the ability to reset and recharge, making it possible to be productive again. But what I really learned is that the reset shouldn’t be in service of the next line of productivity, the reset should just be a reset, a rest, a calming. While it will most likely impact my ability to be productive, owning that downtime is honoring my need – and my ability – to be many things, not just an “always going” person. I can be thoughtful, patient, and contemplative AND I can be a Peggy Lee lyric. I don’t have to fit into one space, I can be part of many spaces.
So that’s where I’ve been, and as the changes seem to be settling, where do I go from here? What do I want to do with all that I’ve learned this last year – how do I use it to move me forward? I want to make informed goals for the next 12 months AND I want to give myself the permission to try on many different goals.
Inquiry: How do you check-in with yourself on a micro and macro level?
